It is 1:30am. The
dishwasher is running. I am sitting in
the living room across from the fire to which I added a log not just an hour
ago… even though I could have let the coals die out and saved a log of my
dwindling wood supply. But… I kind of
want to hold onto this evening, this very good night… and not go upstairs and
shut my eyes on it quite yet.
Tonight was my supper club of March. We have approached the 1920’s in our theme of
decades this year. I even applied gray
eye shadow for the occasion… but left my
cloche hats in their boxes. Still, it
was… it was just one of those nights when life is simply, good.
Part of that, I’m not going to deny, is due to the
compliments to my cooking. Tonight was a
total experiment. By experiment, I mean
to say I cooked four dishes outside of my norm.
Things that might even be considered weird by modern definitions… but appropriate
for my dinner theme… and all from a cookbook that came from my grandmother’s…
and I have no doubt… my great-grandmother’s kitchen.
As I type that… I’m not exactly sure which great-grandmother
passed on these recipes. I want to say
Rose Alba, because one of the recipe books is stained so completely in the pie
section – on the page of a prune pie recipe, that I have heard was one of her
trademarks. I am certain she was the one opening up the book of Lorain
Cooking to double check her measurements, even when she knew them after baking pies every Sunday.
There are no stains on the second cookbook, a guide to good
housekeeping from Better Homes and Garden.
Indeed, I had a renegade splatter of tomato juice this afternoon and
panicked that I was damaging this piece of history… even though the cardboard
binding attached with my grandmother’s masking tape has already fallen
away. I wonder if that was given to my
grandmother by her mother-in-law… or by her mother.
I never saw a photograph of Teresa Conroy until last
October. Well, let me say this
again. I didn’t realize I had seen a
photograph of Teresa until I started sifting through pictures to make a
database for my family. There was a
family portrait (that I have yet to scan and will not be including in this blog
post at 1:30ish in the am) that hung in the dining room of Mt. Pleasant
Ave. I did not know that one of the
young women in that early 1900s serious photo was my great-grandmother. I knew that my grandmother lost her when she
was 18 in 1939. I don’t know if the fact
that was the year Gone With the Wind was made into a movie makes that detail
register in my brain… and that my grandmother was probably more concerned with
the grief of her mother than Vivien Leigh that year… or the idea of being 18
and losing her mother is such a startling thought that I have never forgotten
it.
I found an envelope of her pictures… just a handful of
pictures. Compared to the world of
Facebook and iPhones, that seems like such a poor representation of a life…
well lived, even if she died before either of her children reached the age of
twenty.
My favorite is her dressed in Frank’s (the man who would
become my great-grandfather) WWI uniform.
But, there is another – actually a couple others – of her with a friend, when she is smiling, off the cuff, and so genuinely… happy.
There is also a picture of her in a nurse’s
uniform. And, in the pile of pictures
of her eventual husband, a picture of him in France, dark in shadow…
handsome. On the back is inscribed, “Dreaming
of you.”
I piece these details together into a story… a story I will
never know. A story I probably would
not have really known if I had asked my grandmother. What do we know of our parents and their
youth? Their recklessness, their hopes
and dreams before the burden of responsibility… before the larger problems of
the world turn their hair gray and dull the shine in their eyes? When they shift from hopeful dreamers into
authoritarian stewards?
I never knew Teresa Conroy.
I don’t know if this cookbook I used tonight ever spread open on her
kitchen counter as it did mine today.
Maybe it did. Maybe she cooked
spaghetti for two and a half hours in the oven as opposed to on the stove. Maybe she made a white sauce for tuna or
filled a cocktail glass with an alligator pear and catsup. Maybe she cheated on Prohibition. Maybe she thought it was a good idea. Did she?
I wonder what she would have thought if she knew her daughter liked
bourbon and ginger beer.
Maybe I’m more in tune to these speculations because I am
writing a novel that takes place over several decades, but focuses on the 1910’s
and 1920’s. Maybe it is because tonight
I had a supper club gathering that focused on the decade that decided alcohol
was taboo. Or maybe… I just find the
recipes of these cookbooks an interesting challenge to our contemporary
tastebuds and idea of easy cooking.
Whatever it is… whatever informed my fascination… tonight I had a good
meal.
A list of cocktails. Alligator Pear is at the top. |